Never Knew the Reasons
by Danzinora Switch
Summary: Kirk folded back the crinkled flash-print. It was an old missing person notice. He didn't know the first two faces, but the third looked eerily familiar. Then his breath caught in his throat as he read the name underneath the missing teen: Leonard H. McCoy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay! So, this has been bouncing around annoyingly in my brain for the past few weeks, so I'm finally writing it. Three Heroes is still going, don't anybody worry, but I'm also doing this little story on the side. It's going to be mostly a backstory, but that won't really start going until like, chapter 3. That being said, I hope you enjoy this fic in the meantime! Thanks, guys!**

* * *

Nature versus nurture has been the ongoing debate in many scientific fields. Ranging from Biology to Psychology, it seemed that no one could quite agree where nature or nurture were responsible for what. Were habits and little idiosyncrasies encoded into someone's DNA, or were they a result of several experiences?

For Jim Kirk, all this meant little to him. He could easily explain his own life and choices- he first recognized his innate command ability when he was young, but learned to balance caution with risk while on Tarsus IV- and that was all that mattered. To him, simply accepting the outcome was enough- one didn't need to always know its source.

Spock and McCoy saw differently. This was not unusual. While they (indirectly) agreed that nurture built on nature, they started deviating with the specifics.

"I wouldn't say Vulcan logic is _inherent_, Spock, you yourself have stated on several occasions that you _train_ to be this unemotional."

"Nevertheless, Doctor, the penchant for logic has always been there," Spock countered.

"And the penchant for _emotion_ has been there, too," McCoy replied. "Vulcans were highly emotional back in the day. Something about pre-Surakian times? Isn't it _illogical_ to suppress part of your own being?"

Kirk slowed in the hall, aware that the conversation was starting to take a more personal turn.

"Sentience endows the option of choice; and experience may lead us to reject certain innate traits. For example, a monk or Catholic priest would need to reject the urge to mate."

Kirk chuckled quietly as McCoy's faced scrunched up in mild disgust. "I wish you wouldn't call it _that_, Spock. That sounds nastier than it should be."

"It is a simple term, Doctor, and quite true-"

"Alright, gentlemen," Kirk cut in as the three entered the transporter room. "Let's save it for when we get back to the ship, alright?"

McCoy shrugged. "Whatever you say, Jim."

"Acknowledged, Captain."

Kirk sighed. "You locked on to that ship, Scotty?"

"Aye, sair," the engineer replied. "However old she is, her hull's still intact and you have a breathable atmosphair. Air might be a bit stale, tho, so don't stay too long."

"Understood." They'd come across an old cargo vessel that had gone missing almost thirty years ago. No life signs registered, and so it was, unfortunately, more of a retrieval mission than a rescue.

Kirk sighed. It was a grim job, but he didn't want anyone else to have to do it. McCoy was there, of course, to determine cause of death for the crew, and Spock had volunteered to join them.

"Well, let's hop to it."

McCoy cringed and rubbed his hands together anxiously. "I hate these things," he muttered, finally stepping onto the transporter after Kirk and Spock.

"Lighten up, Bones, it's not that bad," Kirk cajoled.

"Don't worry, Doc," Scotty called cheerfully. "I'll make sure you get thair an' back in one piece."

McCoy lifted his eyes to the ceiling as they started to shimmer. "Let's hope everything's just in the right order…"

They shimmered and vanished.

* * *

The ship was cluttered and musty. There was no form of breeze, and Kirk found the complete lack rather uncomfortable. He turned to Bones, who had out his tricorder.

"Anything?" he asked.

McCoy glanced up and looked at him. "Hm? Oh, for the bodies? Jim, they're dead and/or gone, and if they're dead _here_ then they've been dead for decades. No life signs, and no temperature clues. It'll be a manual search… I was just making sure the air was okay."

Kirk nodded. "Very well then. You take that way. I'll go straight. Spock…?"

The Vulcan also had his tricorder out. "Captain, I should like to venture to the bridge and ascertain what the problem with the ship was. It may provide answers as to how these people met their… untimely… end."

"Alright, Spock." He gestured. "Good luck."

"Thank you," he bowed with his head and moved off down the ship.

Kirk wandered down a hall until he came across what appeared to be the crew's quarters. There weren't many- it was a small ship- but they were cluttered and wrecked. The wreckage was mainly from disuse, Kirk noticed, sifting through the piles. Objects got knocked over and were never put back in place. A grim smile ghosted over his face as he beheld an old reading light. While thirty years old wasn't archaic, it did remind one of the incredible advances technology had made since that time.

His communicator crackled. "Kirk here," he answered.

_"Captain, I believe I know what caused the ship this tragedy,"_ came Spock's voice.

"Yes?"

_"Their main console has shorted out. Navigation was barely affected, but it was enough to send them off course. Also, their communications board was completely 'shot' as you would say, by the malfunction."_

Kirk pursed his lips grimly. One thing starships tended to have man forget was that space was _huge_. Navigation had to be absolutely precise; the smallest degree in alteration could send a ship millions of light years in the wrong direction. And with their communications out, there was no way to call for help.

"Acknowledged, Spock. See if you can help McCoy locate the bodies." Almost as if on cue, the communicator beeped with a message from McCoy.

_"Jim, I've located three crewmembers. Decay was slower than normal because of the sterilized ship, but they show signs of starvation. However, that wasn't what killed them."_

Kirk paused. "Then what did, Doctor?"

There was silence on the other end. Then McCoy's weary voice drifted through. _"Well, there's severe trauma to their skulls, and one's holding an old phaser- back before they could vaporize, you know? I think we're looking at suicide."_

Kirk closed his eyes briefly. "Acknowledged. If you find anymore, let me know. Kirk out." He closed the channel and took a moment to collect himself. A simple malfunction. And now a dead ship and crew.

Squaring his shoulders, he resumed investigating the rooms. He let his mind drift as he cleared away the junk, marveling over the old items.

He was in the last room and more control of himself when he knocked over someone's collection of spoons. It had been one of the few items still on a shelf, and from what he could tell the person had collected a spoon from various cultures and planets. They clattered on the floor and, feeling guilty, he bent and rapidly started picking them up, adjusting them on their stand.

He got on his hands and knees to reach any that slid under the bed when he felt an odd material. Frowning, he pulled it out and realized it was an old flash-print. Instant hard copies were made from early PADDS whenever there was important news, or warnings, or updates.

Kirk sat back on his knees, marveling the thin paper. He turned it over and noticed it had been a missing person(s) newsflash. They still got those sometimes over digital channels.

It looked to be three people. Kirk folded it and was about to set it on the bed when he noticed something. Looking closer, he examined the people.

He didn't know the first two, but the third one caught his eye. The boy's face was familiar, and as Kirk skimmed over the file he froze on the name of the third person.

Leonard H. McCoy

* * *

Spock and Bones were waiting at the beaming point for him. Kirk muttered a hasty apology and quickly stood between them. The missing person profile was stashed in his shirt.

"We found no others, Captain," Spock reported. "Yet it is logical for a ship this small to only be run by three people."

"We tagged the bodies, Jim, so we can beam them aboard anytime you like. An autopsy wouldn't tell me anymore than I already know, but I would like some DNA samples so we can start alerting families."

"Yes, of course," he nodded, only half-listening. "_Enterprise_, beam us up."

McCoy shuddered next to him as the familiar tingle started. A moment later and they were back on board.

"Begin transporting the bodies up," Kirk ordered crisply, before anyone else could say anything. He was vibrating with pent-up excitement and anxiety, waiting to ask McCoy some questions. "Then have a team roll them to Sickbay."

McCoy frowned slightly and opened his mouth but Kirk shushed him as they walked outside. Spock continued on to the bridge, and Kirk grabbed McCoy's elbow and drew him near the bulkhead.

"What's this about, Jim?" McCoy asked, a bit confused by the behavior.

"Bones," Kirk began quietly. He began to say something else, but changed his mind. Gingerly, he withdrew the missing person bulletin from under his shirt, and carefully unfolded it.

"I came across this while investigating their rooms," Kirk explained. He watched as McCoy gently touched the flash-print to read it better. "Anything you need to tell me?"

McCoy's shoulders stiffened slightly and his hand froze on the paper. Eyes still glued to the flash-print, his mouth unconsciously parted as he half-whispered something to himself. Kirk watched as McCoy seemed transfixed by the bulletin.

"Bones?" he prodded after a moment.

McCoy sighed and his shoulders slumped, relaxing. "It's nothing, Jim," he said tiredly. "That happened long ago and I've moved on. No sense bringing it up again."

"Is everything okay?" Kirk asked, concerned.

McCoy nodded. "Yes, it is. Nothing you need to worry about- I'm still able to perform my job, Captain… it was just a little shocking to see her-them- again."

Kirk nodded slowly, gently withdrawing the hand with the flash-print. "I understand," he said quietly.

McCoy smiled softly. "Thanks, Jim." He stretched his back. "Well, I've got to get to Sickbay and prep for DNA samples."

"Of course," Kirk also straightened. "Check in when you're done, Doctor. I'd like to notify the families myself."

"Will do," McCoy said, striding towards the turbolift.

Kirk looked over the bulletin one last time. The other two people were a boy and a girl of about the same age as Bones. Well, Bones back then. Some thirty years ago. He looked out across the corridor and sighed. Then he folded up the bulletin and pocketed it. Bones was right: the past was the past.

He would have forgotten about it completely, after that. But then Starfleet had to get involved…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, thanks for the reviews, everybody! They mean so much! Lot more action in this chapter, with some introductions as to where this is going. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Well, this is absolutely ridiculous!" Scotty exclaimed in outrage.

Uhura shook her head, a soft, sympathetic smile on her lips. "Starfleet's orders."

"Aye," Scotty said, still highly miffed. "But it's orders like these that make ye wonder when the brass'll get their heads outta their arses."

"Scotty, I agree with you," she chuckled, laying a hand on his arm to placate him. "But orders are orders, and at least the _idea_ behind it holds some merit."

"Maybe fer some green recruits, but seasoned starships crewmembers? We've already felt it firsthand!"

Uhura sighed. She didn't like being the one who first received the general sendout and had to relay to the captain- and thereby the ship- but she knew there wasn't much anyone could do about it.

As per studies made on acquired Klingon agonizers, Starfleet was now implementing them into Academy survivor courses. This was not unusual- it was important to remain up-to-date on what one might encounter whilst in space- but it took it a step further by issuing the order that all active duty personnel must take a general scenario test featuring the agonizer. The goal was so that 'crewmen will have an idea of what to expect when faced with the agonizer in real life, so that they may prepare for it'.

In other words, zap each crewman a couple times with the agonizer so they know what it feels like.

From Starfleet's point of view, it made some sense. In order to pass the Academy everyone had to take a worst-case scenario class (not it's real name, but what it was referred to as) where they ran sims of hostage crises, interrogations, survival courses, and etc. An enemy of the Federation had a new toy, so Starfleet was preparing their cadets for it.

But for crewmen and officers already _out_ of the Academy and had _faced_ real Klingons, this was just ridiculous.

Fortunately, anyone who already experienced the agonizer in action was exempt. Chekov was elated, but had enough sense to tone his happiness down lest the other crewmembers get mad enough to forcibly shut him up.

"It's only a quick test," Uhura soothed. "For each person it'll last, what, a couple minutes, tops?"

Scotty sighed, deflating. "Aye. They're settin' up a station in one of the utility rooms- small, empty space, easily convertible. We're takin' a bunch at a time, that way thair's a group and we just work through the group gettin' each person their turn. Efficient, but still inhuman!"

"Well, once it's over, it'll be over for good." Her smile widened as a thought came to mind. "And I bet Starfleet won't ever try something like this again, after it's done."

Scotty caught her drift and grinned. "Aye, they'll certainly have a handful of complaints," he chuckled. "Thank ye, Uhura. I'll see you around, lass."

She smiled genuinely now. "See you after shift, Scotty."

* * *

"How's it going, Bones?" Kirk asked, strolling into Sickbay.

McCoy looked at him and gave a slight snort. "Delightful. We're all prepped to receive a host of electrical burns, nervous system damage, and traumatized minds."

Kirk chuckled. "It won't be that bad."

"Jim, it's _already_ bad. A few of my anxiety patients came in with high blood pressure because they're nervous about it!"

"It's not a pass/fail kind of test," Kirk explained. "It's a bit of impromptu preparation and training."

McCoy lifted his eyes up. "They're not worried about the _scenario_, Jim, they don't want to get zapped by a Klingon agonizer! And I really don't blame them. This whole idea is a walk down Insanity Hall!"

"Okay, I agree with you on that point," Kirk conceded. He really didn't like having to intentionally hurt his crew. He preferred trying to get his ship _away_ from Klingons and agonizers. "But we nevertheless have to go through with- each and every one of us who hasn't been zapped."

McCoy grunted, shaking his head. "When are you going?"

"First," Kirk replied. At McCoy's look he elaborated. "Look, nobody wants to do this. I figure I'll go first and once they see their captain go through it, they'll feel like they can also manage it. As a morale booster."

McCoy sighed. "Sound thinking; just don't turn into a crybaby on the spot or your plan will backfire spectacularly."

Kirk grinned. "I'll try to keep that in mind. When are you going?"

"Oh, I'll probably be one of the last ones. You see, they've got an entire system worked out: a crewman gets up, gets zapped, leaves, gets checked out in Sickbay. Next one gets up, and the process repeats. Until the load slackens, I'll be in here treating the victims."

"Very well, then." Kirk straightened. "I've got to go meet Spock now; we're both in the first group."

McCoy waved for him to go. "By all means. I'll see you in a bit."

Kirk left.

* * *

No matter how 'efficient' a process, it still took a while for 430 people (minus a couple) to get through. It was somewhere after the third day that McCoy finally noticed the flow into Sickbay slacken. The injuries were never serious, just mild electrical burns and so all they really had to do was ease the sensation and erase the marks. Simple and quick- the only reason he was working long hours was because _everybody came in_.

"It about time this pace slows," he muttered to himself. He was tired and his back had a kink in it that stubbornly refused to leave. "Starfleet agonizing their own members… what do they want, a mass rebellion?"

"Doctor?" Chapel walked in from the other room, two empty hypos in one hand. "Have you gone in yet for your scenario?"

"No, I was waiting for the load to ease," he replied, exhaling. "Ever since it started it's been nonstop check-ups."

"Well, we've certainly calmed down, now," Chapel mused, eyeing Sickbay. "Why don't you run over there real quick? We can handle this amount, and you'd at least have the experience out of the way."

When put like that, he couldn't argue. "Alright, Chris. Might as well get this rotten horror-show over with."

She smiled, and continued on to replace her hypos. McCoy left and walked down to the utility room which had been converted to the test-taking center.

When he entered there a small group of engineers in the corner goofing around as they waited their turn. Several guys and girls were chatting- and sometimes flirting- with each other. On the other side of the room a fellow was already getting up from a chair on wobbly legs- a redshirt and Scotty helped him stand.

"Thair ye go, lad. Nice an' easy… ye should be fine t'get t'Sickbay alright." Scotty looked up and saw McCoy standing near the door. "Why, Doctor! Come to inspect the test-takers a little closer?"

"No," McCoy answered, inspecting the ensign from a distance (well, evaluating him, at least). "I'm here for my turn."

"Well! Why don't you come right up, then? Thair's not a line," Scotty gestured the group of engineers who were poking fun at each other. "I'm here t'give me lads some moral support when they're up."

McCoy managed a weary smile. "Well, in that case, I'll be happy to get it over with now instead of waiting around."

The other redshirt returned to the chair. "Step right up, Dr. McCoy, and please sit down in the chair."

Shrugging, McCoy sat down, smoothing his hands over his knees. The redshirt cleared his throat uncomfortably and said "um, Doctor, I'm going to have to tie your hands behind your back."

Surprised, McCoy asked "why?"

"Part of the scenario, sir. Mock-interrogation. No questions will be asked, but you will be tied and blindfolded for the two agonizer zaps. Sorry, I thought you knew."

Thinking he'd better start paying attention to what he heard more in Sickbay, McCoy sighed and put his arms around the back of the chair, letting the redshirt tie his wrists with a short piece of rope. Scotty patted his shoulder affectionately as McCoy grumbled when the blindfold went on.

The engineers in the corner got louder, and Scotty sent them a look. The giggles and whispers were only muted for a short time, however. The flirting and sneakiness promptly continued.

The first zap was on the right leg, just above the knee. McCoy's leg jerked sharply, but otherwise the doctor didn't move.

"Next is medium setting," informed the redshirt. "On the stomach."

The redshirt pressed the agonizer near the doctor's diaphragm. When he activated it, one of the female engineers shrieked- someone had surprised her from behind. McCoy jerked and then seemed to relax.

"Okay, Doctor, yer good t'go," Scotty said cheerfully as the redshirt untied his hands. As detestable as the process was, Scotty always made an effort to show how wonderful it was to be over.

Only McCoy didn't move to get out of the chair or take off the blindfold. He stayed slumped over. Frowning, and concern gnawing at his stomach, Scotty took off the blindfold himself. McCoy's eyes were closed.

"Doctor?" Scotty inquired, worried now. McCoy was the first they'd had go unconscious. He reached out to tap his shoulder when he opened his eyes. The unfocused blue landed on Scotty immediately.

"Finn," McCoy panted.

And in the next instant it cleared and McCoy actually focused on Scotty's face. "Scotty," he said. He stretched. "How'd I do?"

"Um," Scotty bit his lip. "I'm a bit worried for ye, Doc…"

McCoy quirked a smile. "Stings a little, but I'm alright." He moved to get out of the chair only to find himself pushed back in.

"Don't stand up!" Scotty and the redshirt cried. They relaxed in the next moment. McCoy had both eyebrows raised and blinked incredulously. "Doctor, we- should we call for M'Benga or somebody t'come down here?"

"No," McCoy said, stubbornly standing up. "I can make it Sickbay myself. Was going back there after this in the first place; I'll just take a quick scan and get myself back up to par."

"But, Doc, ye passed out!" Scotty insisted, catching him by the door.

McCoy looked him in the eye. "I know," he answered.

He left Scotty standing there at a loss.

* * *

"Damn it, damn it, where is it?" Kirk tore through his drawers and shelves frantically, inspecting every inch of his quarters.

"I know it's here somewhere!" he muttered fiercely to himself.

Kirk was _not_ happy.

Scotty had contacted him shortly before he retired for the night with an uneasy, worried look on his face. Kirk had picked up on it instantly, knowing that something serious must be wrong for the engineer to stop by personally at his quarters.

"What is it?"

"Captain," he had shifted his feet. "We were runnin' the tests like usual today an'…" he trailed off.

"What? What happened?" Scenarios of injured crewmen and fatal accidents started coursing through Kirk's mind.

"Well, nuthin' too serious… but we cannae tell, he just stubbornly marched out. But I thought I should warn ye of it, at least make the knowledge privy t'the captain, just in case, but-"

"_Scotty_, what happened?" Kirk demanded impatiently.

The Scotsman stopped and swallowed. "Well, Dr. McCoy was in fer his test today, sair, an' by all appearance it ran smoothly an' the same as any other, but…" he chewed his lip. "He passed out."

"Passed out?" he repeated. Kirk's heart thudded.

"Aye," Scotty said. "Twas only fer a moment, but when he came to he seemed a bit out of it, if ye know what I mean. He called me 'Finn'."

Kirk's head snapped up. "Finn?"

"Aye."

He backed slowly into his quarters. "Thank you for notifying me, Scotty."

The man nodded. "You're welcome. If ye need me t'do anything, just let me know," he added earnestly.

"Will do." Kirk closed the door.

Now he was tearing apart his room, desperately trying to find the item that connected that name to McCoy.

"Come _on_," Kirk growled, throwing down a stack of books. Quickly he lay down on his stomach on the floor and stuck a hand under his bed, searching. He was about to withdraw when he felt the familiar texture, and with a shout of triumph he clutched the flash-print and dragged it out.

Sitting back on his heels, he quickly scanned the old missing person notice, dragging his eyes up from McCoy. Leonard H. McCoy, Jo Anne Harper…

Finn Crossman.

"Found you," he whispered. He rose and tore swiftly from his room for Sickbay, determined to finally have an answer from one, stubborn doctor.

* * *

McCoy yanked Kirk inside his office and locked the door. "Are you out of your mind?" he hissed angrily at Kirk. "You don't come barging in waving a poster demanding an answer for my reaction to the agonizer test!"

"I'm the captain here, Bones," Kirk warned, just as quick. "And I still want that answer. I ignored it the first time, but when it begins affecting a crewman negatively I have to step in- I _must_ step in!"

"That may be so," McCoy cut him off, still livid. "But you would at _least_ have the decency to not wave news of my blackout in front of my staff!"

Kirk already had a retort on his tongue, but stopped when he realized what McCoy was saying. His anger now made more sense- like Kirk, McCoy had a reputation to keep among his subordinates. As captain, Kirk knew all too well of the pressure to be perfect, and to appear almost invincible. He supposed he wouldn't want anyone else going off about a weakness of his on the bridge, just like McCoy didn't want his medical staff losing faith in their chief.

"Sorry," he apologized, feeling more chagrined. "I suppose some more discreetness would have been appreciated?"

"You're damn right," McCoy growled. He gave a quick sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes, as if to stave off a headache. "Though subtlety has rarely been your specialty."

Kirk conceded the point before directing their attention back to the matter at hand. "Bones, I want to know what happened. About this!" he shook the missing person flash-print. "It's obviously connected to what conspired here today!"

"Jim, it's _hardly-_"

"You called Scotty 'Finn', Bones," Kirk stated firmly, planting his foot down. He pointed at the bulletin. "_Finn_. There's definitely a relation, and don't try to deny it! I need to know what happened if it's going to cause more trouble-"

"Jim, I didn't black out because of some repressed trauma!" McCoy shouted at him. He stopped and took a moment to keep his temper in check.

"The reason I passed out," he started again, grating each word out as if explaining for the umpteenth time a simple task to an annoying child. "Is because I forgot to _breathe_ for the second agonization. The shock temporarily overloaded my system and so I experienced a half-minute of unconsciousness. Yes, I woke up disoriented. Yes, I called Scotty 'Finn'. It's because this," he nodded towards the flash-print. "Was preying on my mind recently and I got startled during the test. Satisfied, Captain?"

Kirk took a deep breath and let it out slowly, considering his words. They were spoken honestly, and now McCoy looked at him expecting a reply. "About the test? Yes," Kirk said. He walked over and retrieved a bottle of Saurian brandy from McCoy's liquor cabinet. "But as for Finn and the missing person notice?" He sat down on the couch. "I'd still like to hear that story."

"Jim, that happened a _long_ time ago," McCoy began tiredly.

Kirk uncorked the bottle. "The shift is over. We're in uneventful space. Night approaches." He patted the couch. "If not from CMO to Captain, than how about as a story from friend to friend?" When McCoy still looked hesitant Kirk dropped his voice. "Bones, please… I just want to make sure that everything's okay. It'll ease my mind."

McCoy sighed in resignation. "Can't have you distracted with unnecessary worry," he murmured, walking over to the couch. "Pour us a drink to start it; this ain't exactly a happy tale."

"We've got all night, Bones," Kirk reassured calmly. "Take as long as you need to."

McCoy grunted and leaned back against the sofa, eyes closed. "It started after I graduated one of my high school years, I was maybe 16…"

* * *

**Let me know what you think! Reviews appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well! THANK YOU for all those reviews! For the most part from this point on it's going to be in backstory-mode. Thirty years ago, Atlanta, Georgia. Warning for underage drinking. I personally do not know firsthand what any of these experiences are like. Enjoy!**

* * *

Summer break. The time when kids and teens everywhere could finally relax, go wild, and sleep all at the same time. No more stress from late homework assignments, tests, and scary teachers breathing down your neck. Time to get rid of all notes taken, worksheets received, and other accumulated junk from the year. Backpacks and notebooks were stashed away, out of sight. Finally, they could sleep in and have fun.

"We did it, we actually survived Mr. Gricks's class," Jo Anne breathed. She closed her eyes and tilted her face up towards the Georgian sun.

"Yes, but now we wait for report cards to show up and tell us if we _truly_ passed or not," Leonard mentioned.

"Shh, Leonard, I want to enjoy this while I can," Jo Anne said serenely.

Leonard observed the crowded school yard and gently guided her off of the front steps, out of the way of the swarming mob. "Fine way to get yourself trampled," he commented dryly.

"Nah, this school loves me." She sighed and seemed to return to earth. Eyes lighting up, she quickly turned to him. "So what are you doing first for summer vacation?"

"Dunno," he answered. "Might start trying to find a job… if nothing turns up then I'll wind up interning at my dad's clinic."

Jo Anne rolled her eyes. "I don't mean first _later_, I mean first _now_. What kind of fun are going to do?"

"Oh." He shrugged.

"Hey! Finn told me a bunch of folks are going over to Halibat's this evening to celebrate. A bunch are finally aging in this year. Want to come?" she asked excitedly and her lovely amber eyes pleaded.

"Don't you have to be at least 17?"

"Yeah, but we'll cover for you! Heck, Finn went last year and he said the staff never ID'd him."

"But Finn's _Finn_. Mr. I-don't-take-risks-I-have-'fun' Crossman. Of course he could pull it off, but I'm not like that!"

"Oh, come _on_ Leonard!" Jo Anne begged. "Lighten up a little! At least let this be the party you go to before entering the _boring_ world of adults and work."

"Jo Anne-" he began but stopped when she blinked adoringly. Trying to hold his cool, he quickly lost it the moment she pulled the puppy-dog face.

"Dang it, you know I can't resist that look," he caved.

Jo Anne squealed and laughed. "That's why I pulled it. Yay! Oh, I am going to make sure you _enjoy_ yourself…"

Leonard merely sighed and followed after the skippy teenager, a soft smile creeping on his face.

* * *

"This is a bad idea."

"Len, you will _not_ chicken out on us!"

"Well I don't want to end up in prison!"

"You _won't_ end up in prison," Finn put on a wide grin. "I'll make sure we get in."

"Yeah, because you and Jo are already 17, I've got a late birthday!"

"Pipe down, will you?" Jo Anne hissed. "You want anyone to hear you and not get in at all?"

"It's better than getting embarrassingly thrown out!" Leonard hissed right back.

"Hey, I said I got this," Finn complained. "Don't y'all trust me?"

Jo Anne lifted her eyes towards the sky. "With some things, Finn, but I wouldn't let you around any small children."

Working in their favor was a large crowd cramming into the club's doors. Wedging themselves into the middle, they blended in easily and the trio quickly found themselves inside a loud, dimly lit, crowded party.

Music blared from two immense speakers propped on a stage. Leonard's jaw vibrated up to his ears at the base chords of the song, and any time a drum beat his heart stopped. Colorful lights zipped across the place in a dazzling, seizure-inducing design. Across one end was a long bar, which was quickly a popular attraction second only to the dance floor. Booths and some tables were strewn haphazardly around, and smoke curdled from its patrons.

Halibat's was a seedy little place.

"This is amazing!" Jo Anne shouted in his ear.

"What?" he shouted back.

"I said, this is AMAZING!"

"Oh!"

For the next untold number of hours Leonard found himself immersed in a strange world. The music controlled his autonomic functions- the drums commanded his heart, the bass his nerves, the words his head. The lights played tricks on his eyes. Shadows leapt against the walls and ceiling, dancing and intertwining. The smell of sweat, smoke, and alcohol permeated the club, growing in intensity as the night continued. He was tossed around between dancing bodies swaying to the music, the lighting making all skins turn blue, green, and purple. Sometimes he glimpsed Jo Anne, laughing and dancing beside him. Once he saw Finn, standing on a table drinking from a bottle. Then two bottles at once. Someone pushed a glass in his hand but he refused, setting it down on a random table.

He finally found himself sitting in a booth in a corner, watching two burly men talk in low voices over a table. Idly he wondered how they could even hear each other. He was pretty sure he'd gone deaf half an hour ago.

Finn suddenly plopped down beside him, reeking of alcohol. "Lenny!" he cried, throwing an arm around him and slumping over so that Leonard was stuck against the corner. Apparently he hadn't gone deaf.

"Y'know," Finn slurred, jabbing a finger in his chest. "When are y'an' Jo Anne gonna be an' item, huh? Y'two play thish dance around eacho'der- an' it's _annoyin'_. Jus' go ahead an' ask 'er out already!"

"Finn, have you been drinking?" Leonard asked, pointedly changing the subject.

"Hm?" Finn looked confused for a moment. Then he lifted up the bottle he was holding and stared blearily at it. "I dunno… here," he thrust it at Leonard. "Shniff this an' tell me what it is."

Leonard pushed it away with disgust. "No. For crying out loud, Finn, you're underage!"

Finn flashed a golden smile. "Not tonight, baby!" He got up and swaggered over to the two burly men, presumably to make friends or start harassing them.

Leonard groaned and decided to go find Jo Anne. They'd been here long enough.

She was on the dance floor, jamming out to a synthesized song with a rapid beat.

"Jo Anne!" he shouted, to get her attention.

She spotted him and smiled. "Hey, Len!" she greeted, skipping up to him. She threw her arms around his neck before he could say anything. "Having fun? Gimme a kiss." She pecked him on the lips and slid away.

"I think Finn's drunk," he told her.

That made her pause. "He is?" She scowled. "Well damn. Hate to end this thing early."

"Jo, it's like, 2 A.M.," he pointed out.

She flipped her hair and huffed. "Yeah, you're right. Alright, where is the stupid idiot?"

They located Finn trying to chat up a waitress. The waitress, way older than him, clearly dealt with flirtations a lot, and was politely having none of it. Jo Anne and Len rescued her, apologizing for their friend. Slinging an arm around both of their shoulders so that Finn was in the middle, the trio exited Halibat's through a back entrance.

The silence was shocking when the door closed behind them. Leonard felt his ears ringing and tried to shake it off. The night was warm and they stumbled through the dark Atlanta streets.

"Geez, Finn, you need to go on a diet!" Jo Anne quipped.

"Seconded," Leonard gasped. He shifted to try and take on more of Finn's weight instead of Jo Anne.

"I veto the motion," Finn slurred. He suddenly straightened and pulled his arms back, smoothing down his shirt. "Why, I'm perf'ctly alright."

"Really?" Jo Anne crossed her arms disbelievingly. "Can you walk?"

"Sure!" He marched a few steps forward. "Ain't my first time sloshed."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," she groaned.

They started off again, cutting through an alley.

"Man, y'should've seen these two guys, though," Finn ranted. "They wouldn't talk ta me! I was bein' all nice and chatty an' they just looked at me an' continued on. How rude izzat?!"

Finn suddenly stopped. "An' there they are!"

Leonard looked over and saw the two burly men loitering near the corner. One checked his watch. He had an uneasy feeling about this, but his thoughts were interrupted when Finn suddenly lurched forward out of his grasp.

"Finn!"

"HEY!" Finn shouted at the guys. "Yeah YOU! You ignored me!"

"Finn, get back here!" Jo Anne hissed.

Finn marched straight up to the men and stuck his finger at them. "I gotta bone ta pick with you! What's the big idea, huh? Am I too _young_ fer you?"

"Finn," Leonard hedged.

One man stepped forward. He seemed bigger up close. "Get outta here, kid," he warned dangerously.

"No, no! I wanna hear you apologize!" Finn continued belligerently.

Now the second guy stepped up. "You're picking the wrong kind of fight," he added to his partner.

"Whaaat, are ya chicken?" Finn taunted. Both men turned away but Finn grabbed one's shoulder. "Hey! Look at me while I'm talkin' to ya-!"

_WHAM!_

The first guy bowled Finn over flat on his back. His head cracked against the pavement as he went down.

"Finn!" Jo Anne screamed at the same time Leonard did. They rushed forward when suddenly there were more people. Hands grabbed them from behind and they squirmed and fought.

"What's going on here?"

"Some stupid kids got in the way!"

"So you didn't make the deal?"

"They probably got scared and left."

"You stupid- bastards- let me GO!"

"Jo Anne!"

"Goddammit, freaks, shuddap!"

"Finn!"

"Well, what the hell do we do now?"

"Get rid of 'em."

Leonard heard a gun cock and suddenly he stopped struggling. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. Are you sure you wanna do that?" He had his hands out, trying to stave off the gun pointed at the three of them.

"Mebbe," the guy replied. "Why shouldn't I?"

"You don't really want murder on your hands," he tried, desperately trying to come up with some way to stall their imminent deaths. "I'm sure there's some way you could turn this deal around- without killing anybody."

The shady guy seemed to mull things over. "You know, you're right," he said slyly, after a moment. Leonard felt hope rise in his chest when the guy suddenly flipped out a phone.

"Energize."

He heard Jo Anne scream when suddenly a transporter beam took them all away.

* * *

**I don't own Star Trek. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, I have a very good reason for putting this chapter off. I've waited specifically for Friday (today) or Saturday to upload this, because I'm going to be gone all next week (so no posting, folks, I'll be at camp). Try to stretch this and Three Heroes across that time frame and maybe y'all can make it until I return. ;) I'm trying to not leave off on any major cliff-hangers, but I looked and saw that I couldn't have this story done before I left (there's still several chapters to go, folks!).**

**All that being said, thank you for those reviews! I'm so happy that you like this! Here's the next installment, still in back-story mode. Enjoy!**

* * *

Leonard awoke to someone calling his name. He groaned and shifted. His head was pounding. When he opened his eyes he saw Jo Anne peering at him from above.

"Len? Oh, good, you're awake." She seemed relieved.

He grunted and tried to sit up. "What happened?"

She scowled. "They brained you and Finn pretty good right after we materialized. They were going to leave me alone but I tried to pick a fight so they clobbered me, too." She winced and that's when he noticed a dark bruise under the curve of her right eye.

"I'm alright," she brushed his hand away. "I didn't pass out, either. We're in a little anteroom somewhere."

She helped him to his feet, and steadied his swaying. Leonard spotted the door right away. Staggering over to it, he peered through the small glass window.

Beyond was a dimly lit station. Its far end was encased in shadow, so it was impossible to tell what lay much further. Nearby, however, was apparently the way they came in: a transporter was on the right with its console on the left. Stacks of boxes lined the open spaces on the walls. Leonard couldn't even guess what might be in them. There was no sign of their captors.

He turned around from the door and spotted Finn lying elsewhere in the room. "Shouldn't we wake him up?" he asked, concerned.

Jo Anne huffed. "I figured let him have his peace while he can. He's going to wake up feeling the effects of a fight, _and_ a hangover, and it ain't gonna get better once I'm through with 'im for getting' us into this mess!"

"Jo! Jo Anne, calm down," Leonard soothed, trying to keep his friends from killing each other. "You know he didn't mean for any of this."

"He should've had the brains to not pick a fight!" she growled.

"But Finn _doesn't_ have brains," he pointed out. "Now, you can't fault somebody for what they don't have, can you?"

Jo Anne deflated enough for Leonard to feel comfortable letting her go. "You're right," she sighed. "But can I still slap him when he comes to?"

Leonard debated. "Just once," he replied.

She gave a weak smile.

He wandered to the other side of the room. It wasn't large, nor was there a lot in it. One window graced the far wall. Standing up on his tip-toes, Leonard could just reach the bottom to see outside.

"What's out there?" Jo Anne asked, approaching him. "I wasn't tall enough to see."

Leonard squinted through the frosty glass. "Looks like a lot of ice," he reported. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"Great," she threw up her hands. "We're transported from Georgia to a frozen wasteland. This _so_ bodes well."

"Wha-?"

They turned to see Finn struggling to sit up. "Where are we?"

Jo Anne strode over and knelt beside him. "Finn?" she spoke softly, smoothing his hair. "Can you hear me?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Good." She slapped him hard across the face.

Finn yelped. "What was that for?"

"That's for getting us kidnapped by strangers and transported to the middle of nowhere!" she shouted at him. "That for being your stupid, idiotic, _jerkwad-_!"

"Ow! Jo! Please, my head hurts!"

"- unthinking self!" she exploded. "I'm _glad_ you have a hangover!"

"Easy, Jo," Leonard tried to mediate.

"Uhgh," Finn moaned. "I feel like a bunch of fireworks are going off in my brain. No- make that artillery shells."

"Serves you right, you a-"

"Instead of blaming each other," Leonard interrupted. "Why don't we try and find a way out of here?"

At that moment the door creaked open, the hinges clearly rusty. The three of them froze, staring as one of the burly men and the guy who'd had the gun walked in.

"Enjoying your stay?" Gun-man smirked.

"Well, the hotel room is severely lacking," Jo Anne commented. "The view is poor and the walls seriously need some color." Leonard elbowed her.

"You can fix it up while you're here," the man dead-panned. He pointed to his left. "Bathroom's that way. Drake here will give you food whenever he feels like it. Behave, and he might give you more of it more often."

"What's the meaning of all this?" Leonard asked boldly. "Why are we here?"

Drake grunted while Gun-man smirked again. "You kids," he pointed. "Interrupted a very important trade between _business_ partners, shall we? We were supposed to make a lot of money in that trade… so now we're using other means." He pulled something out of his pocket and tossed them over. It was their wallets. Leonard hadn't even realized they were missing.

"If all your parents cash in the ransom, we'll make what we were supposed to earn in the deal, as well as a little extra for our," he almost smiled. "Troubles."

They gulped.

"In the meantime," he gestured and the burly man, Drake, put three food trays on the floor. "Get comfortable, and don't make this harder than it needs to be."

The unspoken threat hung tenuously in the air. They left, closing the heavy door with a _clang_ reminiscent of a jail cell.

Finn cringed. "That did nothing for my headache."

Jo Anne just rolled her eyes. "Might as well get some nourishment," she muttered. She picked up a tray and poked the food with the fork. "Seems edible."

Leonard retrieved his and passed the last one to Finn. He started munching on what looked to be mashed potatoes- only very bland. He made a face but continued eating.

"Did anybody see any doors outside?" he asked. "Or is this complex completely walled in?"

Jo Anne paused in her chewing, thoughtful. "Even if there were doors to get outside, we don't know where we are in this frozen tundra. Our best bet for escape is the transporter."

"And does anybody know how to work one of those?" Finn pointed out, forcing himself to eat.

"I've seen my dad operate some," Jo Anne volunteered. "I could probably beam you two back home."

"But wait, where would that leave you?" Leonard realized, alarmed. "Whoever operates it will be stuck here- and they won't happy once they've realized anyone's escaped. You can't do that, Jo Anne!"

"Leonard," she looked him fiercely in the eye. "If you two manage to find help, then I won't be here long. Authorities can beam in and save me. Besides, we just need at least one person to go find help. If you're really worried about me, one of you can stay."

"I'll stay," he said instantly.

She shook her head. "I'm not pinning all my hopes on Finn."

"I should be offended," Finn complained. He sobered in the next moment. "But in some ways you're right. I do have a minor record with authorities. They'll listen to you, Len, and you can explain the situation better than I ever could."

"I'm not leaving you guys here," he insisted.

"Even if it will save us all?" she retorted. She sighed. "Look, I'm the only one who even has an _idea_ on how to operate the transporter. Len, you're smart and resourceful. Wherever I land you, you'll be able to find help. Finn, though he isn't much, has been in a few fights to know a bit more about dirty grappling should the aftermath come to blows. This is the best scenario."

Leonard felt extremely uneasy. He rubbed his arms. "I hate to think of what they'll do to you once I'm gone," he whispered.

Jo Anne's amber eyes softened. "We can hold our own. And hopefully, we won't have to wait long." She turned her face away and looked at the door.

"For now, though, we have to figure out how to get out of this blasted room."

Finn crawled over to the door and tapped the hinges. "These are really old," he muttered. "Did you hear this thing squeak? Felt like a long nail was being driven through my skull." He furrowed his brow in concentration. "We might be able to pry them off with our forks," he mused. "And thus open the door the other way. Let the lock serve as a hinge."

Jo Anne's eyes lit up. "That's a distinct possibility," she exclaimed, growing more excited. "Len, get over here. Let's work on prying these babies off before our guards come back. It's time to get out of here."

* * *

**Well, I'll be gone from technology from Sunday through Saturday. I'll see y'all after next week! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, please don't kill me! I'm back! And look: a chapter! :D I had an eventful last week but needed to catch up on my sleep some (it's not everyday where you accidentally wind up in another state, have a storm knock the power out, endure a mini epidemic and get bitten by a dog). But here is the next chapter! I don't have much of this story left (maybe two chapters?) so I'm going to wait until this is done before I continue Three Heroes (because two stories at once is NOT working). But I'll try to update quickly, I'm also in the middle of a job hunt. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

They saved the middle hinge for last, so that in case someone came through the door while they worked, they wouldn't notice that anything was wrong.

It also seemed that the middle hinge was the rusty. Finn pried it off easily, and dropped it into the pile with the other two. He and Leonard then pulled at the heavy door, easing it open from the other side.

Jo Anne poked her head out and looked around the room. "All clear," she whispered.

The trio crept out. The room was darker, no windows, and there were even more boxes and crates upon further inspection.

"I wonder what all's in this stuff," Leonard murmured.

Jo Anne had scampered up to the transporter console. She bit her lower lip, examining the readouts and displays. She tapped a few buttons, and then got a wide smile when something she liked came up.

"I found the memory! I'm pretty sure this last one is where we came from."

"Positive?" Leonard hedged.

She nodded, staring intently at the coordinates. "Pretty sure. At least, if Geography class told me anything." She looked up. "Time to get on the transporter, Len."

He met her amber eyes. "I'm going to find help," he promised sincerely. "I'll be back before you know it."

She smiled. "I know."

Flipping some switches, she tested the transporter once before he got on. To Leonard, it didn't look like anything happened, but it satisfied Jo Anne that the beam would take whoever to the correct destination.

He climbed onto the transporter pad.

"Hey," Finn said. They turned to where the boy stood next to one of the boxes filling the room. In his hand was a peculiarly shaped object.

"I've heard of these," he said, his face open. "They're Venus drugs. These must be the business these fellows are in."

"Hold it!"

Everyone jumped as the people burst in from the other room. Guns were drawn and armed, pointing at all of them as the drug dealers rushed forward.

Leonard felt a slight tingling sensation, indicating the beginning of the beaming process, but was suddenly yanked off of the pad by someone. He hit the floor hard on his side and rolled to face his attacker. He caught a glimpse of a fist before it slammed hard into his cheekbone.

Stars and black spots danced in his vision. He was vaguely aware of lots of people shouting as he was hauled up. Sloppily, he tried to swing his elbow at the guy's head. He missed and then a punch to the stomach doubled him over.

"Leonard!"

Someone yelled and he looked up. His vision was clearing. Finn was grappling with two fellows but it was clearly a one-way fight. They had him pinned to the wall in seconds. Somebody kicked him roughly and he bounced against the wall. Then he was pulled up _again_ and restrained by the arms as Gun-man walked coolly in front of them.

"Well," he said smoothly as the fight died down. "It appears we needed to watch you more carefully."

Leonard glanced to his left. Jo Anne was there, also restrained, on the other side of the console. She looked furious.

Gun-man stopped in front of Leonard and looked down at him. "I should shoot you, you know," he said disdainfully. The muzzle of his gun pressed against Leonard's forehead.

For a minute, nobody breathed. Nothing moved, and the only sound Leonard could hear was his rapid heartbeat.

"But I won't," Gun-man said at last. He pulled the gun away and Leonard let out a shaky breath. But his heart chilled at his next words. "You're not the one responsible, after all."

With that, the focus shifted to Jo Anne.

"Thought you could beam your friends away?" he drawled. He advanced closer. "Thought you knew _so much_ about transporters?"

He loomed over Jo Anne. She was still defiant, but Leonard glimpsed a spark of fear in her eyes.

"Well, perhaps you should learn a little _more_ about the _dangers_ of transporters."

Everything happened fast. Gun-man made a motion and suddenly Jo Anne was getting hauled over to the transport pad.

"Wait! Stop!" Leonard shouted. Next to him, Finn was also yelling. Their guards were yelling back at them to shut up, and Jo Anne was also shouting.

"Stop! Just think about what you're doing!" he yelled.

"Jo Anne! Fight 'em off!"

"So help me I'LL-"

"Be quiet kids!"

Jo Anne was hauled up onto the transport pad and there were guns pointed at her.

"Quit it, you bastards! We're sorry! We won't do it again!" Finn was hoarse next to him in the chaos.

"What's happening?!"

"STOP it, _please_!"

"This is what an accident looks like."

"SEND ME!"

The transporter beam activated, only something was terribly wrong. Jo Anne wasn't disappearing… she was _shifting._

Beamed to the same place, only in a different order.

Finn's face was white next to him as the process began. "Oh, God, JO ANNE!"

"JO!" Leonard screamed. "PLEASE, make it stop! JO!"

Jo Anne screamed. The sound ripped out of her throat and sounded inhuman. She seemed to shrink, and bones bulged from her shoulders and her skin slid across her body in waves. Her head lolled back on jelly and it seemed like a foot was now coming out from her stomach.

"LEONARD!"

The cry was cut short, and the beaming ended. The grotesque mess that was once Jo Anne slumped forward, falling off the platform. And Leonard looked into the dull, dead, amber eyes.

* * *

A/N: I so wanted to stop the chapter here, but I didn't.

* * *

Jim looked up at his friend. Bones had paled slightly at the memory, and he seemed lost back then. Reaching out, he patted his hand.

"Bones?"

McCoy shook to. "Sorry," he murmured. "It's… it's not an easy thing to remember. Or recount."

Jim nodded sympathetically. He sensed that there was something else McCoy wanted to say, and sat patiently while the doctor collected himself.

"Jo Anne," he said, his voice catching a little on her name. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Was… one of a kind." He turned to Jim. "I wanted to name my daughter after her, Joanne, as she was very dear to me. Fortunately my wife convinced me that 'Joanna' had a better ring to it." McCoy leaned back and closed his eyes. "A good thing, too. Otherwise I'd likely just be drownin' in mem'ry every time I called my daughter."

Jim stayed silent, letting McCoy have his peace. "Joanna _is_ a lovely name," he tried.

A smile touched McCoy's face. "A lovely name for a lovely girl." He sighed once, and then opened his eyes.

"It's also why I have trouble with transporters, Jim."

It clicked for Kirk. Surely such and early experience with transporters- and one that ended so tragically- would be enough to dissuade ever using them again. At the confession, Kirk was surprised that McCoy was as okay as he was, complaints and all. Kirk figured that if he'd witnessed something like that, he'd avoid transporters at all cost.

Almost reading his mind, McCoy continued. "I didn't touch a transporter or transport station for years. My ma finally dragged me into some damn counseling therapy sessions to work things out. Mebbe it did some good. Mebbe not." He sighed gruffly. "I still experience anxiety whenever I'm near those things, and I don't think that'll go away. Stating my aversion helps- though mebbe that's just to build bravado as a front against them."

Jim laid a hand on his arm. "Bones, I… I never knew."

McCoy exhaled. "Well, I never told you, did I?"

"No," Kirk acknowledged. "But I hate to think I've been forcing you against a fear and a bad memory all of these years."

"It's died down with time," McCoy said heavily. "The anxiety's really the only thing left. And we _have_ to use the transporters, don't we? I'm not gonna let my problems stand in the way of an important beaming."

Kirk gave a tight smile. "I know, Bones."

McCoy had his eyes closed again. He was silent for a while, Kirk wondered if he was falling asleep. "The shriek from the engineers sounded like Jo Anne's scream," he reported suddenly. "That, combined with the shocks… briefly I thought I was back there. I stopped breathing in surprise for only a small moment, but that was when the second shock occurred, which temporarily overloaded my system." He cracked an eye opened and peered at Kirk. "Again, I did _not_ pass out due to some repressed trauma."

Kirk nodded. "Yes."

McCoy sighed and rubbed his face. "But we're not through yet. There's just a little bit more to the story."

* * *

**Haha, well, there we go. And yes, I planned to kill Jo Anne from the beginning. Shame, I was really liking her character.**

**Also, on a separate note, a friend of mine, me, and a few others are raising money to create a Sherlock parody. I'm posting the link to the fundraiser page on my profile, if any Sherlockians (is that what they're called?) would like to donate. Thank you! And please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey, guys! I apologize for the wait, I've been busy, tired, and to top it all off been having computer problems (which, out of everything, affected the document that THIS story is saved on) so I had to fix some things. Anyways, the last chapter is here! And then I can continue 'Three Heroes'. Enjoy!**

* * *

Finn and Leonard were dragged away from the scene and Jo Anne's corpse was left on the transporter steps. The door to their room was useless and broken now- no way could the hinges be returned. It was ineffective as a barrier.

So their guards took other measures.

Two chairs and a cut piece of rope. All Leonard knew was that Finn was somewhere to his left. They were blindfolded, too.

And never mind that the thugs figured Jo Anne was responsible. They were still involved with the escape. They still needed punishment.

Between the blindfold, the stiff chair, the bonds, and the electrical shocks that they could never tell where or when they would come, time stretched on soundlessly. Leonard grew too disoriented to figure how long it had been. He could hear Finn moaning and coughing beside him, and he felt sick to his stomach. The nausea refused to leave, and increased with each shock and each thought of Jo Anne.

Who knew how long they were there. At some point there was a battery of gunshots from the other room. Shouts drew closer and the noise was unbearable. Someone rocked Leonard roughly and the blindfold was ripped off his face. He jerked away automatically at the sight of a black-masked face. Someone undid his hands and his brain finally registered that neo-SWAT members were swarming the room.

Finn was freed and slumped in his chair. There was too much commotion, shouting, and everything was moving too fast, everyone was talking to him. Somehow Leonard stumbled over to a corner and threw up. Someone was rubbing his back and talking to him. He didn't understand. He was just too tired…

All was a blur. He didn't fully come back to himself until he was sitting in a hospital room. He didn't remember transporting. He could barely recall what happened. Where were Finn and Jo Anne…?

A nurse walked in and met his questioning eyes. "Back down to Earth with us?" she asked quietly with a slight smile. "You seemed to be in a daze most of the time."

"What happened?" he finally croaked out.

"Well," she began, setting down her tray of food. "When none of you came home the night it all began your parents called the police. Questions at the club led to one waitress remarking you three left the back way, not long after two big guys. A general search investigation commenced, though there were next to no leads. That is, until a transporter signal activated in the area they were searching. They traced it to the gang's hideaway- did you know you were all the way in Iceland?"

"Iceland?" Leonard echoed dully. "Huh."

The nurse sighed. "Beaming makes all distances seem smaller. Disappearances easier, too, as you can literally vanish off the face of the Earth."

"What about Jo Anne?" he asked suddenly, interrupting. He searched the nurse's face desperately. "What about… her?"

The nurse grew quiet. "There's nothing anyone can do with a mismatched body," she said softly. "She died the moment the mix-beaming was complete."

"And you can't-" his voice hitched. "Beam her back together?"

She shook her head. "That's not our place."

He nodded. He ached all over. No doubt he had bruises from all of the electric shocks. He'd never been shocked before, and hoped it wouldn't happen again.

"Thanks, nurse," he murmured.

Thankfully, she knew a dismissal, or at least a request to be alone, when she heard one. She left the room.

Leonard knew that it wouldn't be long before he'd have his parents, police officers, and probably district attorneys swarming in asking him questions. Goodness, he could already feel a headache coming on. He just wanted to sleep.

A side door to the conjoining room cracked open. He looked up and saw Finn standing in the threshold.

"Hey," he rasped.

"Hey, Finn," Leonard replied softly.

They stayed like that in silence for several moments. Too many thoughts were swirling in Leonard's mind for him to focus on Finn right now. Until the boy shuffled over and sat down next to him. Neither spoke, simply letting their hearts beat.

"Oh, God, it's all my fault," Finn suddenly uttered, his voice cracking.

"No, Finn, don't say that-"

"But it _is-_" Finn sobbed waveringly. "If I hadn't been drunk… or just a stupid a_sshole_- none of this would have happened… Jo Anne wouldn't… oh, God, Jo Anne…"

Leonard wrapped an arm around Finn as he finally broke. Quiet, shaking sobs wracked his frame. Leonard didn't say anything, nor did he cry, too. He felt too numb.

_What happened to us?_ He thought dully. _When did I, the cautious one, start holding Finn as he, the risk-taker invincible man, started crying?_ His eyes flit to the door.

_Jo Anne should be here,_ he thought. _She should always be here._

* * *

McCoy sighed. "There were court proceedings afterwards- a few of the guys tried to weasel out of their guilt through the technicalities of the legal system. So many court proceedings. And Finn and I were the top witnesses." He ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "And Jo Anne's funeral. Closed casket, of course. That was hard." He stared at his now-empty drink.

"They were drug-dealers. And that was the legendary Venus drug. And we had the damn luck to walk in and interrupt an exchange. So they wanted their bogarted pay in the form of ransom money. And they nearly got it." McCoy was quiet for a long time. "In the end, it was Jo Anne who saved us. That transporter test she did before trying to beam me? That was the signal the police found that finally tracked us down to that facility."

"I'm sorry, Bones," Kirk whispered. "It must have been awful."

"Yeah." A grim look ghosted over his face. "It's funny- after that Finn stopped drinking and I started. Oh, don't give me that look, I know it was wrong. I never got full-blown drunk, but I did drink almost regularly. It's where I got my tolerance."

They shared a tight smile.

"I stopped it when I entered med school, though. Doctoring- it was something I was really passionate about. And by saving lives- I could let go of Jo Anne."

McCoy sighed and stretched. "So there you have it- it's why I don't like transporters, why I started drinking, why my daughter's named Joanna, why I reacted badly during the agonizer test, why I-" he took a deep breath. "Hell, that incident's responsible for a _lot_ of things."

"But you pulled through," Kirk mentioned. "And it helped shaped you into the person you are today."

"For better or for worse," McCoy replied gruffly. "It was a lot to work through, Jim. That's why I wasn't too keen to rehash it when you brought up the missing person file."

"I understand," Kirk said honestly. "But I'm sure you understand why I had to."

"Yes." McCoy stood up. "Well, it's late, and I need some sleep."

"Of course," Kirk rose as well. "Good night, Doctor."

"G'night Jim."

Kirk lingered in McCoy's office even after the man ambled out. He was reflecting on all that he learned. Everyone had demons in their past. Some never mentioned it- hell, he certainly never mentioned Tarsus IV until it was thrust in his face again.

But the point was that you couldn't be so wrapped up in your own problems to not notice someone else's. Everyone needed a shoulder to lean on. Maybe that shoulder was needed a long time ago, but sometimes even the offer was helpful. They've each had battles- and who was to say who had it worse? It wasn't a competition. They pulled through together and helped each other. That's what was important.

Musing quietly about all of this, Kirk exited the office, and walked on to his quarters.

* * *

"Long time no see."

"_Leonard!_"

McCoy grinned at the computer screen. "Hey, Finn. How you been?"

Finn had a greyish tinge to face that never seemed to go away. "_I've been doing alright._"

"How are Catie and Jonathan?"

"_They're doing fine,_" a real smile finally graced his face. "_Growing up real fast, but they're healthy and excitable._"

"That's fantastic," McCoy replied. "And Jean?"

"_Doing well, or at least, as far as I know. She's not complaining._"

McCoy chuckled. "I told you she was a good woman if she could put up with you."

"_Yeah._" Finn looked down, a warm look on his face. "_How's Joanna doing?_"

"Having fun at her school. Making lots of new friends."

Finn nodded. "_She'll end up like you, you know._"

McCoy laughed. "Lord, I hope not. She deserves a nice, long, stress-free life."

"_Doesn't everyone?_"

They smiled, and lapsed into silence. Finn fidgeted on the screen. "_Len, why did you call me?_"

McCoy sighed and picked up the flash-print, holding it in front of the screen. "My captain found this on an old ship," he said. "And…_requested_ for the story."

Finn stayed silent, looking at the missing person file. "_Oh._"

McCoy nodded and set it down. "So I guess I figured I should call or something- check in because it's been awhile."

"_It has been awhile,_" Finn agreed.

"Now I've asked about your wife and kids," McCoy said. "But how are _you_ doing?"

"_I'm…_" he trailed off, seeing McCoy's serious look. He swallowed. "_I'm fine, Leonard. Honest. I know for a few years I was seriously messed up, but Jean-_" he let out a puff of air. "_Jean and the kids are the best thing that ever happened to me. I know you let go when you found your job, but I'm okay with everything because I've got my family. I _am _fine._"

"I know." McCoy smiled again. "Nothing can ever hurt Mr. Finn Invincible Crossman!"

Finn laughed on the screen and McCoy shook his head at the pleasanter memories. "_Yeah, those were the days,_" Finn chuckled.

"Did I ever tell you that my captain's a lot like you?" McCoy mentioned.

"_Oh goodness, I bet you're having fun_."

"Tons," McCoy said dryly. "He's textbook Invincibility Complex. You know, there was this one time on, Gyralis IV, I believe…"

* * *

**To not be confusing, I don't mean that they're laughing over Jo Anne. I mean to show that they've managed to move on, and so now instead of constantly wallowing in grief, they can enjoy what they do have.**

**Part of what inspired this was the amount of hurt!Kirk stories in the Star Trek (2009) archive. They're EVERYWHERE. If you like that, great, but the variety is lacking and it's almost always 'Jim is hurt/broken and Bones is there to pick up the pieces'. I do find this a bit bothersome, and so part of the reason for a McCoy backstory (and a dark one) is too show that yeah, lots of people have bad past experiences that they also have to deal with (not just Jim!). I considered writing this for the reboot!universe... but I couldn't bring myself to do that.**

**Wow, I don't really know why I just went off on a long diatribe like that- maybe I really needed to get that out (but seriously, hurt!Jim is everywhere in the 2009 archive!) Thank you for reading! :)**


End file.
